For Parents

When parents are asked "Who most influences your teen's decisions about sex?" they often think that it is their teen's friends. However, when teens are asked who most influences their decisions about sex, they cited parents by a very wide margin. Parents, you need to know that you are viewed as most influential by teens of all ages and by both boys and girls. Parents, teens are looking at you for direction. What will you say?

It is important that we educate our children on what is 100% “safe sex.” Without correct information, our children cannot make appropriate decisions. Children need to know that if they and their partner wait to have sex until they are married and they remain faithful to each other, then they don’t have to worry about STDs and pregnancy outside of marriage. Their marriage is also more likely to be successful. We cannot expect adolescents to delay the onset of sexual intercourse until marriage if we do not promote it as the only 100% way to avoid STDs, out-of-wedlock pregnancy, and other difficulties that can occur from premarital sex.

And there are plenty of other difficulties that can occur in addition to an STD or a pregnancy. In fact, there are great emotional consequences that happen as a result of pre-marital sexual activity. Science has shown that sex is a powerful brain experience that involves the release of chemicals that promote bonding, attachment and a desire to repeat the experience. The cycle of sexual involvement / break up / sexual involvement / break up is typical of non-marital sex and results in broken bonding, increased depression and difficulties in forming future healthy relationships.

Since the adolescent brain is not fully developed until they are 25 years old, a teen's ability to process emotions, control impulses, use judgement, make rational decisions and critically think are less mature. Furthermore, the adolescents brain begins to experience the effects of dopamine, a chemical secreted in the brain as a response to excitement, pleasure and new things. It is in a teen's nature to take risks and push the limits, seeing the world with intense new interest and in an entirely new light. Parents need to be "hands-on" guides for their youth during this stage of developement, offering positive "risk taking" experiences and reinforcing their value system.

TheEDGE wants to help you help your youth. It is vital for you and your teen to connect openly and frequently and we want to be a resource for you to do just that. TheEDGE can provide you with the most up-to-date news and research on teen development and teen issues. For helpful tips and monthly updates sign up below to receive our e-newsletter. Join us as we encourage youth to get theEDGE on life.

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